Everything has happened in the space of two weeks. I kid you not.
I have not had a space to breathe or sleep properly, never mind go through my devbox but I will, I promise. I am so sorry to everyone.
I got a new job (it's a big deal, because it means a £6000 gamble paid off) and I start in like...a week. I have to clear my desk in my old job and make sure there are no new tasks until they can find a replacement cos I'm leaving at short notice. Incidentally I got offered full time in there but too late. I am also in a heap of bother with the other person who is leaving, who is really pissed off at me for some reason...? I feel really awkward about going to her leaving-do because my boss hinted that it would now be a joint party, which I didn't ask for and don't want because I don't want to steal her thunder. So I'd maybe just...not...go...cos I had a friendly reminder of what I'm like when I'm drunk.
I also have a social life. When did that happen? Like...dude...I have friends who actually haven't run screaming. I'm weirded out by the fact that I found myself saying things like "Don't wait up" when I go out because I don't get chased back home by my own anxiety after ten minutes.
Also discovered just how BLOODY AWKWARD I can be in social situations. Seriously. I did not sleep that night because I kept waking up cringing at myself. And drank heavily the following night to drown my self-hatred. I slept really well that night. (small note: this situation was saved, in charming fashion, and I feel like I've kinda blundered into a fluffy fanfic where awkwardness is endearing and heartwarming and maybe there is hope for me even though I don't so much trip over my words as faceplant into them then roll off a cliff...?)
Lots of things that I never thought would ever happen for me are happening now...and I should be happy, but it's really overwhelming. And I keep thinking, "Is life messing with me? Like, just going "Oh, so you want that so bad? WELL HERE HAVE THIS AND ALL THE OTHER STUFF DUMPED ALL OVER YOU SO YOU CAN'T ENJOY ANY OF THEM BECAUSE YOU'RE TOO BUSY RUNNNG FROM ONE TO THE OTHER LOLOLOLOLOL".